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Choosing and meeting a therapist

This can be daunting to experience, and how do you know if the therapist is right for you?

Would you look for same cultural background, religious beliefs, similar age, sex, their qualification and experience, their expertise of work and niche? I had no clue what I needed from a therapist, she was recommended to me as being nice.

When I started my personal therapy I felt confused, apprehensive, I didn’t think I need it and what was it going to help me with as I felt good and managed my life well, but I was curious of where this may lead. Personal therapy was compulsory in my journey to becoming a counsellor is one of the reasons I think made it easy for me to start and stick with it.  But what if this is not the case for you? What if you are going through challenges in your life, how do you know what the right therapist will be and look like.

I soon realised counselling was awareness, confidentiality, self-care, non-judgemental space personalised to my needs, different each session as I knew where the pain was, it felt good to be in the driving seat.


Make the first step, choose a therapist, meet them and find out about them and see how you feel around them, follow your gut instinct, notice if your body tension changes as you are there, if you feel understood, empowered.


My therapist made me feel Safe

My therapist was warm and attuned easily to my emotions, felt easy to be around and felt ok to be myself in her presence. I trusted her and felt her non- judgemental approach.  That allowed me to leave my guard down, a guard that I didn’t realise I had.


I regarded my therapist as someone who will guide me and fix my life, but instead I felt accepted and empowered to do that for myself. I soon realised that before things get easier and I started to gain control, things had to feel painful, things got worse. Supporting my clients resulted in a variety of my own boxes opening for which I needed support to unpick.


Tips on how to work at the start of therapy, or at least what helped me:

Let the therapist know what is important to you, be curious and make sure you feel understood, but also it’s important to acknowledge that you and the therapist may not be suited to work together, that doesn’t mean there is no one out there to meet your needs. Do not give up in searching your healing path.

Being aware of our differences and diversity can empower us to get the best of our personal therapy.

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